Thoughts on Baseball and Losing

I was reading my sister’s blog—which is quite good (it’s my sister, natch)—and she raised an interesting point. With the recent triumphs of the Texas Rangers, my family has been thinking a lot about my dad lately. You see, he was the biggest fans the Rangers ever had, and from the time they moved to Arlington in the 70’s until the day he shed this world for the next he cheered them. This was an endeavor that brought years of disappointment on the diamond, but did bear some fruit. Dark cloud, meet silver lining.

It was through my dad’s love for baseball, the Rangers, and sports that I learned to love athletics. It was also through watching him that I learned to be a fan. He wasn’t irrational, he knew where his teams stood—and with the Baylor Bears and Texas Rangers, that was usually the back of the line—but he cheered for them anyway. He didn’t heckle at games and really didn’t yell much at all, as if he was trying to focus his energies on soaking in the fragrant oils of live sports. I learned how to win and how to lose from those trips to the ballpark.

Now that the Rangers appear to be the team we have waited for them to become, it makes me miss him even more. By that I don’t mean I am unable to enjoy the wins because I am mad they didn’t win more when he could see them. I mean that I wish I could call him to cheer about the success our team is having. Once, back when I was in college, Auburn beat Florida on a last second field goal. I was sitting in my apartment alone, watching the game. When the ball split the uprights, I reached for my cell phone to call him, and then realized that was impossible. That was the first time I experienced that feeling of joy mixed with sadness, and it still feels the same.

If the Rangers keep winning, I imagine I will celebrate the same way I did that night. I will sit smiling, and say a few words in my head to my dad. Then I will shout for joy because the long-awaited has happened. I know how much he would love this, but not because he was a huge Rangers fan. He would love this for the same reason he would have loved to have heard me shouting, “We WON!” the night Auburn beat Florida. He would have just loved to see how happy it makes me. 

Sadness fades. It really does. I rarely feel sad and find myself more and more thankful for the memories I do have. This is the first time I have really blogged about this, and that is unfortunate because I have had a lot to say. If this post made you sad or sorry, I apologize, that was the furthest thing from my intent. Instead of feeling sorry, you should just watch baseball and practice saying “Go Rangers!”